A Day in the Life

A day in the life of a 14 week old? Well, we've archived Celia's days into 4 short videos.

You've seen the first adventure of the day in our last blog entry -- we wake and we chat. Does she ever! Must be all the Dr. Suess.

Then we're doing yoga to Michael Franti. Smiling the whole time!

Celia loves to dance. We're boogying to Citizen Cope. She loves BIG movements and J, although, silly looking, provides.

We do some tummy stuff to enable her to crawl and well, eventually walk and get into everything.

Suckers!

And she's learning to sing. First song, The Beatles. This in the only way she'll get into her carseat with out crying.

ahhh... the fun never ends!

Conversing

The Most Beautiful Monday

I heard it on NPR that morning. 85 degrees on an October Monday. 72 degrees on an October Tuesday. 52 degrees on an October Wednesday. Fall was sending us one last breath of heat before she enveloped herself into the beginning stages of hibernation.

You see, I have a 12 week old. The decision. Do I pack up, make the most of this seemingly last expression of warmth, even though traveling around with Celia is still a bit of an adventure in and of itself, or do I just stay close to home to keep Celia's naps on schedule, to get groceries, to stay cool indoors... ? The decision. I guess you have to take what is given, be grateful and live it to its fullest. So, Out we went!

Grandma Char accompanied us to Lake Michigan for one last hurrah!! And it was worth every second! The sun was high in a brillant blue sky, the winds warm causing small white caps to crash on the sand squishing between our toes. The water was perfection in liquid form! Warm and clear. I stayed in and just played like a kid on a summer's day while Celia slept with Grandma on the shore.

I laid on my back and stared up at the sun, a white hot dot on a cloudless canvas. Waves would crash over me and fill my nose with water then swirl me around in its watery arms. Just a little rub and a sneeze and I was on my back again. I bobbed and swayed letting the winds and the waters take me for one last ride.

I'm so grateful for yesterday. For time with my mom. For Celia to fall asleep to waves. For a moment to myself to revel in my blessings and yet reclaim a second of Jeannie the woman along with Jeannie the new mom.

We stayed for only a few hours and were back on the road to Rockford. But lucky me, I have a husband that supports me at home with our girl. The biggest blessing of them all, I would think.

The new adventures with Celia keep rolling in. She is cooing so much it's almost as if she's having whole converstations with us. It's so funny, we just roll!

She went to the local Harvest Festival and enjoy looking about. She doesn't sleep on our daily walks anymore. She has to look around, and can you blame her? Michigan is in fall color bliss!

All in all, the Vollers are doing well. We still continue to scope out land for homesteading. We still dream big. We still look around for ways to better our community and environment, and well, ourselves. But we've discovered that raising a daughter is an excellently fufilling dream in and of itself.

The Wonder of it All

So who does Celia look like at 9 wks?

We think it's rather obvious :)

Mom?



Or Dad?

Celia's Firsts

Ok.

We may be getting a hang on this parenting thing yet!

We are happy to report that in Celia's 6 weeks we have conquered a horrid diaper rash, a painful, oh so rough, eczema break out on Celia's face, seemingly excruciating gas troubles that has given us a new happy baby, and a car seat boycott. We have learned how to eat with one hand, that sleep deprevation causes a weird J, and that Celia is the boss. :) Here she is posing for a photo session in her new finery Tina and Joe sent her.

As you can see we have a Celia first! SMILES!! Every morning we look at her and say, "Good Morning Celia" softly in her ear and what do we get? The best and biggest toothless smile you've ever seen!! Yet, who got Celia to smile for the first time. Steve? Nope! J? Nope! It was none other than Grandma Char. Go Mom! But now, mom and dad are clearly the favorites.

We've found Celia is exquiste in purple. J told her this and she loved the word, "exquisite."

Celia loves our faces. She touches j's nose and mouth all the time and Steve's beard and cheeks. She thinks this is the most fun task of her day: Studying mom and dad.

Another Celia first! THE BEACH! On Labor Day we decided it was time to test out the cherry bathing suit Grandma Char bought Celia. Of course the beautiful Lake Michigan was much too cold for a 6 1/2 week old, but we got some great pics!

More to come! Celia finds that being held is most favorable and so we best tend to our little lady.

Almost 1 month down

Celia at 1 month ~ Our Favorite Things

We love how as you fall asleep, your face goes from a huge smile, to a grimace, to a frown, to one eyebrow raised up, to one half of a smile, to a pucker of your lips... so cute! We call this her mob boss face.




We love how you've already begun following us with your eyes.


We love how in the middle of the night if you are fussing, one of us just puts a hand by you and you reach out for it and calm right down.

We love how you fold your hands while you are nursing.

We love how you are in awe of the Tibetan Compassion book's pictures and even try to turn the pages yourself.

We love how much you love daddy. Some babies are all about mommy, but Daddy just straps you into the Bjorn and goes for a walk with his morning coffee, sending you into dreamland.

We love that if you are really unhappy that dancing to Jack Johnson is your favorite thing. We tried Paul Simon one day, but it just wasn't the same.

Don't get us wrong. This can be a very difficult time as well. J can only say how grateful she is to have had Steve at home for 2 1/2 weeks and then working from home for another 3 days. J can see how doing all of this on your own could be overwhelming and depressing as you try to find out what works best for your baby (books are great, but Celia is Celia -- not a book, we've come to find). It is such a relief to work out problems together. To ask each other what they think we should try next. To be up at night together sharing in the care of such a small and exquisite being. So blessed to have such a partner. J thanks her lucky stars daily.

That's as much of an update as we can muster right now. The other night J developed a fever and body aches that knocked her out. Come to find out, she has mastitis. Oh, the adventure never ends. We're in our 3rd day of fever and aches and Steve is, again, mostly in charge of all care of Celia, Elle, and the home, which continues after helping J heal from the C-section.

We'd also like to send out our eternal gratitude for the emails, calls, blessing, cards, meals, gifts, visits, and good ol' folk-hearted offers during this...ahem!...glorious "adjustment" period. :)

Oh yeah...here is a picture of Celia while nursing. This was SO hilarious! No kidding, her hand was just like this! We absolutely did NOT place it in this way. J cracked up so hard she thought her incision was going to pop out. We call this Celia's first try at profanity.

And So The Story Goes...

The Long Story of the Coming of a little Girl Called Celia:

Ahhhh...... birth! Not just in the physical sense, but in the spiritual sense as well. Our vision of this birth: all natural, painful but purposeful, connecting with the women of the past who have endured the same, without drugs squatting by the river side... this was our birth plan. But as someone once said, "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Overdue J got acupunture on Monday. Tao He, the man, told J that she would most likely start having contractions that night or the next. 5000 years of medicine obviously doesn't lie! All Monday night, J was waking up to very mild contractions. Each one that woke her made her more and more excited. Throughout the next day, the contractions were present, although, only a handful. As j said, "a piece of cake!"

Tuesday night, we went to bed around 10:30pm and the contractions started to become quite regular. They were 5 minutes apart and no longer a piece of cake. So we called MaryAnne, our nurse-midwife, and stayed in touch hour after hour. She knew we wanted to labor at home for the most of the labor and was in full support of that. All night J had 5 minute apart contractions... the real deal. Steve was by her side the entire time, rubbing her back, helping her breathe through and just being ultimately supportive.

By 5:30am we were timing 3 minute apart contractions and J was getting nauseous and shaky. We called MaryAnne and she said, "Sounds like she's dilated to a 7, you should bring her in." So off we went!

Upon on arrival, we got all situated and then got checked for dilation. A disappointing and shocking NOTHING! MaryAnne said things were soft and manually dilated her to 3. The laboring continued. Hard labor. (We were told eventually that J was in back labor for 20 hours, meaning baby Celia was sunny side up, her skull hitting J's tailbone each contraction.) Each dilation check, we had nothing. MaryAnne continued to manually dialte J. Eventually by 5:oopm, 12 hours after we arrived at the hospital, 19 hours after hard labor had begun, J had been manually dialted to only 6.

At this time J and Steve had been awake for 36 hours, Tues 5:30am to Wed 5:00pm. And Steve never left J's side. He never slept, he never ate, he stayed immensly connected, trying to give J every ounce of support and pain relief for the all natural labor that was their desire. As J has said, there is no way she would have gotten through this without Steve.

But yet, J still wasn't dilating on her own. The breaking point had been crossed for J. In tears, she stated she couldn't take it anymore. If she were advancing and we saw an end, perhaps. But after 19 hours of 5 to 3 minute apart contractions, and 24 hours of labor in general, and no dilation, she was beyond.

After much reluctance while deeply held values lye prostrate for re-examination, we all decided that an epidural was needed. J's exhaustion mixed with her tension was likely affecting the progress of birth. We just wanted Celia out safely. The epidural gave J a much needed reprieve and we waited for an hour. Checked J. No dilation. Not even manually able to move to a 7. Disappointed, MaryAnne made the decision to induce J.

A Pitocin drip was started. We watched the contractions crash on the moniters measuring J's contractions and Celia's vitals. They were enormous. Under the epidural they weren't felt by J, but poor baby Celia was still working hard. An hour later, checked for dilation. Nothing. And the cervix had closed up some. Something was clearly not right.

J looked at MaryAnne and said, "I'm ready to talk about a C-section." MaryAnne then stated that she thought that was what was going to need to happen and had already made all the calls. She was awesome. She had labored with J with Steve and had given J every position imaginable to encourage and keep the labor working. She even attempted to turn baby Celia but was unable to due to Celia being stuck elsewhere, unbeknownst to us, and not down in the birth-canal. She had done everything she could and finally stated that this was absolutely necessary, and we absolutely trusted her. And then Celia went into distress. Our hearts were gutted. We were able to bring her back by repositioning J and thankfully, Celia gave us the extra hour we needed to prep J for surgery. It was now around 8pm.

Shaking, delirious, and vomiting from exhaustion and drugs, J was wheeled off. Steve was still there, absolutely present, loving and supportive. He was absolutely amazing. And then, after 29 hours of labor, Celia arrived. It was 8:48pm.

So what was wrong? Dr. Leazenby, amazing man that became my surgeon and doctor, explained that Celia was wedged in the pelvic bone. J's size would not accomodate her head. She seemingly continued to bounce against the opening and then end up off track. They called it "transverse", a 3 to 9 o'clock position. Turned the wrong way and face up made entry into the canal even more difficult. Celia came out with 2 large welts on her head and a bruised arm from her trying to get out. It broke our hearts. Thankfully, Celia, spoke to our hearts to put our ego and birth plan aside to do what was best for her safety. Our Celia was under an immense amount of stress, says our doctor. He also told J, that by the looks of it, C-sections were a must for any future babies unless 5 pounds or under.

A second scary part for Celia. Her cord was in a knot. The nurse called Celia a miracle baby. Most babies with a knot in the cord are still-born she said. Especially if they are delivered vaginally because the cord pulls tight as baby leaves the canal and oxygen is cut off. We could not believe it.

Yet, here we were, hour after hour, all of J's greatest birthing fears being realized--epidural, induction, strapped to a bed, stuck with an IV, C-section... and it all may have saved baby Celia's life. What a deep honor we were given to confront and embrace, yet, another lesson in letting go and trusting the process, of being in your eternal moment, resisting nothing and accepting everything, casting aside all previous notions, judgements, and expectations to realize what truly matters in the moment of birth - Life.

Unfortunatly the story doesn't stop there. Celia was born with a fever. Thankfully, her fever passed within the first hour of life. J was not so lucky. J's fever and blood pressure were getting worse by the minute; J was diagnosed with eclampsia and toxemia and so the IV drips were started. They got to their room at 11pm and J was put on an antibiotic drip and a magnesium sulfate drip. The drips made her nauseous and extremely overheated from vessel relaxation to keep the vessels very dialated so that j wouldn't stroke or seizure from the high blood pressure. This went on for nearly 36 hours.

All night and day people were in and out of the room every 1/2 hour to check J's vitals, take her blood, and switch bags of this and that. J's labs were not coming back steadily improved. Her uric acid, platlets, and hemoglobin were not right to top the list. We were up all night. By the end of it all had both been up for 72 hours, with 2 short naps...

But to the recovery!!! By Friday morning her labs had turned around so well that she was taken off all medication and drips (except pain meds of course -- major surgery is OW!) Her calcium had gone goofy and her hemoglobin remained off as well. But J flipped around in the blink of an eye. With the magnesium off, she could eat again, see (the med relaxed the muscles of her eye so that everything flickered like an old foggy movie), and walk. She did so well Friday, they let us go Saturday afternoon. And finally the new voller family was home!

What a process. What a hero's journey, yet again. The walking into the woods of wonder, being enveloped in darkness to confront some scary monster, only to arrive a more whole person having traversed the unknown and the difficult. Both Steve and Jeannie are different people after the experience. And for the better. So we didn't get the birth we wanted. But truly, the birth WAS perfect. It happened and unfolded as it should. We know this. As another wise man once said, "all is perfect just as it is."

We find it terribly ironic that if J had her tribal, raw birth that she had wanted, and we weren't in modern times, that we probably would have lost both her and Celia. Don't know what to make of that yet, and does it even matter? We just know we can't thank the people enough who made Celia's birth possible. Especially MaryAnne, our constant advocate and support who knew at each obstacle when it was time to go through it or take a different direction. Between her and Dr. Leazenby, Dr. Shin, Dr. Gibson and the compassionate Spectrum nurses, we have our baby girl. Here is MaryAnne and Celia. You can see how puffed up Celia was from the trama in the canal - our trooper of a daughter!

Anyway, that is our story. Being home is blissful. We had a rough first few days waiting for J's milk to come in, but now have such a happy baby!!! She is a breastfeeding queen! Ahhh! The one thing that went as "planned." :)

And now we enter into our next Hero's Journey: Parents to Celia. More on that to come.

Thank you all for your support through this whole pregnancy. We are blessed because of it. All you need really IS love.

Population + 1

Celia Scarlet Voller

She's Finally Here!!

Here's a few photos of our new baby girl.

Born July 18, 2007

8:48pm

7 lbs 15 oz - 20 inches

Our best photo yet - Celia making the connection of daddy's soothing voice from the womb, with the face.

Celia loves to sleep right on Mommy's heart.

We will post our birth story and the first few days report soon. :)

2 OverDue Appointments - One to Go

Hello everyone~

We're posting an update because the other night we returned from our "overdue" appt., dinner and shopping for needed new clothes for Steve to 12 phone calls!!!!

We are overwhelmed by everyone's concern and excitement, but decided not to call anyone back and just catch you all in one place... cyberland. We know it's impersonal, but I'm sure ya'll understand.

First, no. No baby has arrived. She's still snuggled up, feet under j's right ribs, hands punching at the cervix. Perhaps she's impatient too. :)

Second, we had a good 1st overdue appt. Celia passed her stress test, so, so far, j won't be forced into induction just yet. She wasn't passing in the beginning... let me tell you, Celia is a hard sleeper! It's so funny. We couldn't wake her up! Her heart beat was strong, she just didn't feel like moving around. So, j drank a bunch of cold water, and she perked right up. Passed within 5 minutes after sleeping through the first 20.

Third, j had no dialation, still. But is 80% effaced. We hear that's good! So, we were advised by our midwife to really enjoy the weekend. Take time, be together, do special things since this will be our last weekend together without a baby attached to us, literally, 24-7. All in all, she told j to enjoy and get her rest.

We have tried many tactics. We've been through a full moon. There is a new moon tomorrow -- that affects some women. We've had a good storm. J has continued excercising, had spicy food, had a pedicure and few other things. THEN...

Had our 2nd overdue appt. Monday. Good signs!

J was having pains all day, not contractions, but anything is a plus. J lost weight, which is a sure sign say all her recent laboring friends. She was still 80% - 90% effaced and a forced 1 cm dialated. Those are all good things!

The best part was the discussion of induction. Having a midwife rocks! As most of you know, j is terrified of being strapped to anything. Not having the ability to move or try different positions sounds like absolute hell to her. So, when you're induced with pitocin, you have to have an IV, have to be monitered, and basically are hooked to a bed.

Our awesome midwife does not induce that way. She uses 3 different methods of induction, that we're sure you don't want the details of, first, and pitocin is her last result. The other methods allows j to have a portable moniter, no IV, and to walk wherever she wants. She was so relieved! Steve said he hadn't heard her voice sound so happy in weeks! The only thing taken away from her is the tub, but that's fine! The other great thing with being induced with a cervi-gel is that it doesn't overwhelm your body so that your natural endorphins can't keep up, like pitocin. Again, what a relief!!!

J also got acupunture yesterday, which was great. Celia is a pretty heavy sleeper and this woke her up right away! She was moving all over!!!

We're happy to report a full night of seemingly mild contractions. We don't know quite what they are yet because they are so sporadic and seem to be a piece of cake so far. So we don't know what exactly is happening, if anything. Either way, we feel really good that by the end of the week this will all be over. J's getting higher blood pressure and has had small blood vessel breakage on her legs. Her body is just tired. So J's just sipping Blue Cohosh tea and rubbing Jasmine on her belly hoping those will help.

We'll keep you informed :) If today isn't our magic day, we have our last appt. Thurs. Then Celia will be evicted. :)

Although we did have a nice weekend. We went to the movies and saw Oceans 13. Super Fun. We grilled out. We went for a few hour stroll through Rockford and ate hot dogs and ice cream. Also met two new moms with such POSITIVE birth experiences (one a mom of 4 -- did all natural labor with all 4 and even was induced twice!!). So nice to not hear "war stories" anymore. We started watching one of our favorite movies, Sideways. J finished another book. So, all in all, j is doing ok with this LOooooooooooooooooooooooong pregnancy. And Steve is, as always, great. And just excited. :)

A Sad Day for J

Well, the due date has come and gone.

Even though 10% of women actually have the baby ON their due date, J had such high hopes for Celia's appearance before or on this day.

She spent the morning sad, decided to cry, and then decided it was time to kick Celia out.

J's list of activities yesterday:

Vacuum out Car
Weed Garden
Harvest from Garden
Vacuum house
Water Aerobics
the hottest dish on the local Indian restaurant menu

And well, it just goes to show that Celia and nature have more to say in this than j does.
We're still pregnant and Celia still seems very happy right where she is.

No News Is Good News?

No News. Unfortunately!

We're just plugging along over here playing that game called the waiting game. Although we're not due for 5 more days, J has seemingly been ready for 6 weeks :) 35 extra pounds is alot to carry on J's small frame. Although baby, extra blood volume, lots of extra water and baby's home make up for most of that, it's still heavy! The rest is ice cream, muffins and burgers. :)

Not working, J has been trying to keep herself occupied. Here is J and Elle after a morning walk. Both of them overheated and decided the cold wood floor was the place to shack.

Steve thought this was a cute picture of his tired 3 ladies. J, Elle and baby Celia.


Yet, we've been trying to do a few fun things together before baby comes. We went to the movies last Thursday and saw "SICKO." We were "in the know," if you will, about much of this topic, but it was so well done, and still as shocking as ever to see our American HealthCare System is such a disarray of profit and plunder. Even if you do not like Michael Moore, this is a must see movie. This isn't a partisan issue. Health is everyone's issue.

We also are grilling out alot. This 4th of July, J decided to try a new recipe for Fiery Flank Steak with Tomato Salsa. With Steve's grilling expertise (no, he still hasn't surpassed Jeff Barney, in his words :) ), and J's marinade and salsa it was YUMMY YUMMY!

J also has alot of time on her hands without Steve. And the next picture is from when Steve got home from work early one day having fought a debilitating headache all day. J got caught!


We think she's nesting since she came up with the brilliant idea to repaint the bedroom. Oh, that's Jeannie for you!

She was given the ok by midwife MaryAnne to paint with lots of ventilation and a mask. So, J decided to lighten up their Chianti bedroom! Turns out this yellow was not what they were looking for, and they are painting the square back to red just in case Celia's time is near.

Some day the room will be a toasty Camel Color. J will see to that! Oh! And what was her excuse? She said that when we sell the house that a gold/yellow color would make the tiny room bigger and more inviting. It was hard for Steve to argue with that and frankly, J is frustrating and funny at the same time.

Well, that's all. Next week if baby hasn't arrived we will be going in for the 40+ week ultrasound to make sure Celia's home is still fit to sustain her life for another week or two. And then we will be asked to choose an induction date, should it come to that. 42 weeks makes a woman high risk these days, and Steve and I do not want to be transferred to a high risk doctor. We are committed to our birth expert MaryAnne being there, so at 41 weeks and 6 days, we would have to induce, or lose MaryAnne. So we're looking at our latest possible date, all the while, sending our intentions to the powers at be for her to arrive naturally before all this.

Say a few prayers it won't come to that!
Much love~~

Anyone Call for a Barn

Just thought we'd take a moment to post the most recent photos. Here is J and Elle in the kitchen. J is 4 weeks away here. She calls herself a barn. No one seems to argue with her. :)

Another great bit of news for the family - Jeannie's bro Michael got remarried this weekend to Sheri Garbarect! Yea!! They couldn't be happier and they are such a great match! They had a beautiful day for nuptials as we all gathered on a stone platform under the trees of Grand Haven and witnessed the marriage of these two fine people.

Here's a photo op of J and all her brothers: J is now 3 weeks from her due date. Woah!!! J's Mom said she doesn't know how she can stand up with out falling forward. :)

More good news on the front. J's best childhood friend Erin had her 2nd baby! Healthy all!

Here is Sevi J. Cullum:

And more baby news!! J's long time kindred spirit and cousin Sunny had her baby boy! Hyrum Joseph Tangren:

So, all is well. It's still hot. J's still big. Steve is still working hard. And Celia is still a bug in a rug.

Baby Celia Update

We thought you may all be interested in our new baby update after our 36 week appointment yesterday where you plan to the best of your ability your labor and then get checked to see how close you are to going into labor.

It looks like she is not planning on going anywhere or doing anything but staying cozy for awhile in here. She's just like her dad! It's good j's impatience gene seems to have not become a dominant trait :)

Anyway, j is not dilated at all, cervix isn't doing anything (maybe a little softening), and it's not even in the right position for the baby to drop, and nope, she hasn't dropped.

So, we're settling in for the 4 weeks we have left until they start talking to us about induction around week 41. :( AHH!! We don't want that if we can help it! Pray the little lady comes out before that happens :)

We all thought I may go early, but we're looking pertty stuck for a bit. J thought she'd be disappointed, but what's the point, right? J's just going to settle in for a month of swollen, hot mamma time. We think j will pitch a tent at lake michigan. Come visit her : )

Winter and Construction

J - Rounding to the 8 month mark!

We have a joke here in Michigan... If you've ever lived here, you may remember. We only have 2 seasons here in the Grand Rapids Area. Winter and Construction. This year has proven to be no different, to be sure. Yet, it seems this joke is being taken to another side of the coin. We don't quite know where Spring went. We had a week, perhaps two?, of that glorious spring weather. Jeans and a t-shirts were all the clothing required. The air was cool at nights and 60 and dry in the days. The sky was blue. The lilacs tantilized us with their fragrant blooms for weeks. Not this year. I saw lilacs on our own bushes. And then they died. Fast. In the heat. Like the rest of us. It's May in Michigan and we've had 85-90 degree days as a rule lately! Remember that late July/August humidity. Oh yeah! Sticky, slick, and stanky. It's here with a force!

That being said, our pregnant j has recanted her statment of wanting to be pregnant in the summer instead of the winter. In the winter she struggled bending to put boots on. She tried to smoosh herself into her winter coat after layering pants, long johns, t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, and then sweater. She felt like an elephant in the wrong climate zone. Little did she know that with heat came swelling ankles and fingers. Walking created sweating which created work for the body to cool itself off, which created exhaustion from having 50% more blood volume to pump around, which created a constant and nagging passing out feeling.

But darn it! J got the garden in anyway!! Here she is with a bucket of compost.

Once we got to the tomato and pepper transplants, J was practically strapped to a camping chair by hubby Steve and he took over. In his words, "You sit there and order me around." Hmmm...

Life is good here at the Voller Estate. We are looking at our final month of pregnancy and man does it look good! We can not wait! Not only to meet this little gem that has been pushing back at your hand when you touch the belly, that stretches in the belly while mommy is stretching, but also the little one is beginning to create such discomfort with normal efforts like getting out of a chair, doing dishes or just laying down. She loves a rib on mommy's right side. Ouch!

J thought she could work up to the day Celia decides to come home, but that is becoming an impossibilty considering her work. She works one day at a farm and even weeding is a chore in this heat! She is also still massaging a few clients a week, and although she's been lucky to have hardly any back pain this pregnancy, it's all starting now as she expands even more. We didn't think it was possible!

Steve is doing well. He is spending much free time learning and searching sound healing while cleaning the basement, doing the lawn, the garden, and the house. He's a busy man. We are going to his mom's this weekend to get her tractor. Steve no longer has 3 hours to roam our lawn with our little push mower. He hates the idea of a tractor, but J convinced him it was a good idea since when she is an at home mom, she plans on taking over the mowing. Having had 3 older brothers and never being taught to mow, a tractor makes more sense for a recovering mother. Baby Celia will be in a sling and Mamma J will be mower extrodainaire!

There is a wonderful sound healing center in San Francisco we hope to visit within the next year along with a trip in October out east to see all our friends and introduce them to Celia. Steve is also planning a Rush concert get-a-way in September with his buddy Pierce in Toronto! He needs a break! Also, it looks like Crowded House is touring again, which he's excited for! He'll be going to Ann Arbor in August for their concert.

His next projects will be re-sealing the basement for humidity (again, it's Michigan, people!) and then busting up the crumbling concrete stairs and walkway to our back door and then redoing them. We are tentatively planning to get the house back on the market by September. Plus those stairs are not safe for not only a waddling jeannie, but also our mom's, and Celia when she decides walking sounds like fun.

That's the update. Here's our family: We'll let you all know if J explodes before the birth gets here:)

The Mysterious Disappearance of the Belly Button

Where'd it go??!! One morning we awoke, and alas!, it had disappeared! The object in question had been in the same place for nigh on 30 years! And all of sudden, in a flash, it was gone! The disappearance of such a familiar object caused us to don our Sherlock Holmes caps and begin investigating, sleuthing, and inquiring as to the where abouts of this item in question. Yes, readers, that's right, J had indeed lost her belly button!

Our investigation, in the end, brought us the answer we were indeed looking for. Yes, it was gone, but it would return! They say in the form of an "outie." "It means the baby is 'done,' like a turkey," said Victoria. AHHHH!! We understood.

J is now 30 weeks and expanding like a helium filling balloon. Baby Voller is about 3 pounds we've read, and will surely double in size in the 10 weeks left of our pregnancy. She could come early if she follows her mother's trend towards impatience. Yet, she could come late if she is more like her peaceful and mellow daddy. We shall see! You out there will be some of the first to know! So, yes, in the future we will post more freakish circus pictures of J's belly as they come to us.

As of late, we have been so generously showered with love! Two weekends ago we attended the Voller/Cutherbertson Shower in Flint, Michigan. We were graced with 50+ members of Steve's family! We were so shocked and honored! The pregnant lady forgot her camera, and therefore, we have no pictures to share. We feasted on pizza and salad and 2 kinds of cakes! OH YeAH!! We also received amazing and much needed gifts for Baby V. Her car seat, swing, clothes, money, books... I could list all day. We left humbled to say the least.

This past weekend was the Wadsworth/Friends shower with j's mom's side and all our lady friends. Prior to the shower the ladies were instructed to send along a square of fabric which my Aunt Kim then proceeded to make into a quilt for not only Baby, but for mamma j to use in labor as a focal point or as a cozy reminder of home. We were so stunned by how beautiful the quilt turned out! Here's a photo of the finished product!

We have a few squares that arrived but just a little late and those are going to be incorporated into a pillow by my Aunt Kim. So never fear Ker, Krisha and Kim, your love will be in pillow form. We're also including one of Steve's dad's hankys per step-mom Judy.

J's mamma Char and Aunt Kim put on such a nice party. We had sandwiches and oranges and yummy cake again! Here are some photos of people signing their names on their square and tying up the quilt. First, Miss Jen Schaap:

And our Lindsey and Karen with Steve's mom, Carol:
We were again blessed with such generosity. We received a pack and play, baby sling, crib blankets and sheets, baby food maker, clothes, baby tub, and so much more! This baby girl is one lucky little lady! She also received a cherry bathing suit with a terry cloth robe from grandma Char, a play dome for the beach and a pail and rake. Lake Michigan, here we come!

Our next shower is this weekend with my dad's side of the family. Will we post pictures after we return!

Aside from all this showering, we have been keeping busy with starting the garden, trying to get J to sit down to heal a pulled muscle in her stomach, and other family gatherings. Here is a picture of Steve practicing his parenting skills with his nephew, Devin, at Breanna's 6th year bowling birthday party, which she couldn't attend being in the beginning stages of a pneumonia!

Cute isn't he?

Steve has also been studying sound healing in his spare time of not working to provide, thinking of baby, and loving his big ol' sexy pregger wife. He has begun "toning" every morning during yoga with great results. This you will hear more of in the future, we are sure.

And lastly, we have decided on a name for Baby Girl!

We have named her Celia. She is named after where we were married Saint Cecilia's Music Society. We thought you'd want to place a name to all the love you send from afar :) Her middle name is Carlene, a mixture of our mom's, Carol and Charlene.

Well, reader, you have wasted another 15 minutes of computer time reading about the Vollers. Till next time. :)

New Fam Photo

Our latest family photo! J and Baby Girl (who still doesn't have a name! We just can't decide on all the great names out there! :) ), Elle pup, and Steve!

We are at 26 weeks and are just having so much fun with this stage. Baby V. has taken to large enough kicks to be seen from the outside! She kicks mostly for Grandma Char who J sounds alot alike so it's like hearing Mommy in stereo! She kicked this weekend for Grandma Carol, and just this morning she was clearly practicing her budding drummer skills for Daddy. We are just loving this!

We are happy to report that we chose our hospital and our new midwife that is "hospital worthy." We have chosen Spectrum Health. Although J got her stomach caught in her chest when they showed the stirrups she was relieved to see the birthing ball, the birthing chair and the jacuzzi tubs. Whew!

Our new midwife is MaryAnne George. Her and Dr. Leazenby, whom she works with, are both committed to care of the whole person. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, economically, and socially. We like that! She is our advocate for our desires for a natural birth, but is also skilled if we are part of that group that needs emergency care during labor. And let's face it! It happens! We are still putting out as many smooth baby ride vibes that we can, but are feeling more and more at peace with the way the road has lead us. Granted, we are still frusturated that we can't dictate where our health dollars go like everyone else does with their ability to go their doctor and get the medications they need, but we aren't dwelling on that anymore. Clearly our last entry was a passionate in the moment frusturation with the system.

Steve and J are plugging away at the mortgage issue, but options are revealing themselves here and there which is good. We're just trying to be patient to see which is the right one.

We hope all is well in cyber land with you all.
We love you!

Big Brother

Anyone familiar with George Orwell's classic, 1984, may ask themselves from time to time, is Orwell's notion of Big Brother a reality? Did Orwell's futuristic vision fall short of our current times? Well, have no fear curious readers, we are here to inform you, if you did not already know, that Big Brother is alive and well!

It may not be with computer screens in every house which we're all monitored. It may not be with megaphones placed across your town center spewing out slogans or instructions to live by. It's just more secretive than that. These modern day Big Brothers may sit behind closed doors. Their faces may be darkened behind a mesh screen while their lobbyist drones go out to do their work for them. Their accounting department may write the right person a special check. Yet, that almost makes it worse in a way.

If you're so proud of what you're doing, I say, if you're not in any interpersonal dilemma about what you do day after day to the normal folk trying to make their way in this thing called life, then I say, SHOW YOURSELVES! Come and stand in front of me and say, Yes! I'm screwing you over! I'm the one that is profiting off of your misery. I am the one that calls that shots for your life's decisions behind these 100 floors of glass walls. When you look up at the sky in search for your God to help you, you first have to get past my high rise. ME! I'm the one!

Are we being dramatic? Perhaps. Are we being a little fatalistic? I suppose that's possible. But what is reality? Reality is a different perception of space and time by each individual. Our vision of the same object that you may be looking at is probably very different. Reality is a construct of our own minds, in essence. So, whether of not we are being over the top here, our FEELINGS are as such, and therefore create our reality.

So what's happened to the Vollers to make them conjure up a Big Brother narrative to share with our loved ones? Answer: Corporate Greed.

It all starts with health insurance. Here we pay out XXX.XX amount of dollars per month to protect us from accident. Sure we get to go to the doctor anytime for illness and the like, but we are very healthy people. Not only do the Vollers rarely get ill, but we believe illness is our bodies cleansing process and that it shouldn't be impeded by medications. Fevers are there to kill bacteria. Beginning symptoms are felt as the immune system kicks itself into gear to learn all it can about a certain bacteria or virus. It then replicates it, produces antibodies and kills it, which in effect gives us a blueprint to fight it the next time it shows up. Basically, we heal naturally with nutrition, fasting, fluids and herbs for basic ailments. But we don't get "props" for being healthy and not using the insurance, nor can we choose to spend the money on preventative health. We pay as much as joe schmo who is on viagra, allegra, lipator, cardizem and prescription pain relief and who attends the doctor's office at least 10 times a year. Not trying to judge those that need that, but shouldn't we get the same rights to have covered how we treat ourselves?

Yet, in our current system, we need to prepare for that "what if." If we don't and the "what if" occurs, we're paying 2800 per day for a critical care bed. So when we read that our insurance covered a Certified Nurse Midwife, we had new faith in the system. HAZAA!! Perhaps soon we'd learn that we could dictate where our own health dollars go! Soon we could pick the "alternative health care plan" where naturopaths, homeopaths, anthroposophists, chiropractors, acupuncturists, therapists are covered instead of just MD's. Feeling good in the neighborhood, we were.

Fine print is a funny little thing. Who invented the fine print? Anyone know? We discovered our fine print stated that the midwife is only covered if they're affiliated with a hospital or a birth center that is within a hospital. Key word here: hospital. We called to plead our case. Hell, we were saving THEM 10,000 by doing a home birth and 8,000 by doing a birth center birth. And we were under the care of a Certified Nurse Midwife. She just didn't have to answer to the M.D. Doesn't that count for something? Plus, we were choosing where the birth of our child would occur. Imagine that! As a bonus, statistically planned home births have the same mortality rates as hospitals, but lower rates for all other birth complications. We could prove to them we was even safer at home.

Save your breath, Voller, some of you may say. As you've guessed they put the smack down on our birth center birth because it was run by midwives and not doctors. Financially, we could not cover this center on our own. Saddened but still resilient we returned to the plans of home birth. Although still not covered by insurance, it was quite a bit cheaper than a birth center, and having the baby at home was our original desire, so all is well.

Then the mail came.

Home Eq, our mortgage company informed us our interest rate would be rising from 5.75 to 8.7... an extra 266 added per month to our mortgage. With j still not working regularly, that would take all of our extra money per month we were going to use for our home birth. We felt blindsided by this. We were under the impression we were in a 3 year fixed. It's only been 2 years! Someone was confused, and it wasn't us!

We called our mortgage company. They let us know that WE were the ones confused. And it turns out we were. Fine print again. "Fine." Isn't that a word used to say how were are doing day after day? A synonym for "good." From here forward I call it, "Secret print." Anyway, our mortgage company informed us, that WE are fixed in the loan for 3 years (ie. can't shop around) but they are able to raise our rates after 2 years. Obviously we wouldn't agree to a company having financial say over us for a year, but it's in the secret print we've found. So, to get out of this, we need to pay a 1200 penalty fee in order to shop around for a new mortgage. We feel we have to pay this since every 6 months, the contract says they can raise it again up to 11%.

So, while Steve is on the phone, j, in the background, is ranting about the market.
"The market is soft," she stated. "Interest rates aren't going up, they're going down. So, basically," she called out, "you're raising our rates not based on anything but that you want more money."

Well, they couldn't argue exactly. They just offered the oh so hopeful antidote that if this market index at 5.4, which they are allowed to add up to 5 points to in order to get their current interest rates, goes down to 0, we could have our 5.75 rate back again. Thanks guys! What a pal! Oh, and then Elizabeth of Home Eq stated, we're actually getting a good deal! They could have raised our rate up those 5 points to be 10+%. But our contract stated it could only go up to 8.7 upon first rising. So, we were lucky!

Who else wants our money? You? How much do you want? You don't even have to give me a good reason as to why you want it! You don't even have to price it fairly. We're dishing out cash everyone. Get in line.

Alas, with great tears, our birth is moved to the hospital where we get a "free birth." All that money we saved for our home birth is going to the mortgage company.

We know there is light here. We are not ones to become defeated by circumstances. We believe in the process. We believe in the energy we put out in our lives. We believe in the power of our intentions. We're sure that this time offers great learning and great growth. But as REM wisely stated, "Everybody Hurts Some Time." So, I'm hurting, and I needed to let someone know. Thanks for listening.

BABY V!

Finally! Our trusty laptop has returned home safe and sound! Turns out herbal teas without sugar make for easy computer survival! So we thought we'd take this moment to share photos of the last few months.

Here's our first belly photo of J at 12 weeks:

Then Steve turned 35 on Jan. 21, and J turned 30 on Feb. 6. This next photo is before J headed to the spa for her 30th! She's 18 weeks.




Then, on Valentines Day we got to see our little baby for the first time with our ultrasound! We were just astonished by how amazing it all was. Our first image of the baby was face front with one arm above its head! That's how Steve sleeps!! HA HA!! Genes are amazing things!

Throughout the entire ultrasound the baby kept touching its face and at one point even put its hands over its eyes! It was so amazing! The mouth was moving the whole time. When we looked at the legs to measure them they were completely stretched out and crossed at the ankles! It was hilarious! The heart was beating a solid 145 and looked great. The brain was full and fantastic. We looked at the hindbrain and the ventricles and the spinal cord and the little rump. We even got to watch blood going in and out of the umbilical cord! That was crazy! And when we went over the feet they kept moving like a tap dancer against the probe. We were astonished!

Then Mary, our ultrasound technician, asked THE question. Did we want to know. Hmmmmm.... Originally, NO, we did not want to know. Yet, we told her that we thought we needed to be thrown a bone since the beginning of the pregnancy was so difficult. We looked at each other and decided that she could look and if she saw something to tell us and we'd decide then. So J intently watched her scan across the rump over and over (the cord was right between the legs in front). J knew just watching. There was nothing there at ALL! No hanging goodies that we could see. So when Steve said, yes, he'd like to know, we weren't suprised when she said she couldn't be 100% sure, but she's 90% sure it's a..............................

GIRL!!!

We trotted home with this news and felt just fine that we gave into the heat of the moment. Life is like waves, right? Fight it or go with it. We love the thought of a baby girl! Although we didn't care, and still, the babe could have been just hiding a little something something, we enjoy calling it a "her" and enjoy taking polls with family and friends on our names we're thinking about. If you'd like to get in on the action, let us know! Not that we'll listen to any of you, but it's fun!

So, lastly, here's Mommy again at 21 weeks (Febuary 25) Clearly J has finally popped! She's gained a solid 15 pounds and is loving watching everything expand. Unexplainable. Creation. (please note for the tender eyes of the bunch, this next photo shows some skin)

We end the photo slide show here. With the trusty Dell-tastic friend back at home we will continue to post more pics as time goes on. Thanks to all of you who have inquired after our health and the well-being on Baby V. We love you all.

a Belly and some Tea

I know many are wondering what happened to us! We've received some "where are you" emails just today in fact!!

Well, the computer is fried... J is starting to pop out and balancing tea on her stomach while typing is clearly not an option anymore. The tea in the laptop has disconnected us from the cyber world until a fix-it solution is found.

A quick update for ya all!

J is 18 weeks along! Almost half done! Can you believe it? We can't! Yet, it has been a bit of a rough 18 weeks. The all day sickness is the beginning was replaced by pregnancy migraines! J used to get migraines as a teen and young lady but healed herself through diet, water and massage when the pill popping got to be too much. Yet, low and behold, here there are again. Clarice, our new midwife (to be explained), informed us that this happens often. If a woman has had migraines before, they may come back in pregnancy. So although the throwing up from stomach bobbles is over, it returns with the headaches. The good news is it's been a week of headache free J!! We're hoping she's here to stay!

As the belly expands, we are starting to get very excited! We have opted for a 20 week ultrasound that we will be receiving on Valentines Day. We are looking forward so much for this.

So, yes, as stated above, we have new midwives. We have a new birthing place as well! We discovered the Greenhouse Birth Center in Okemos, Michigan! We began looking to switch our home birth aspirations as we learned that our insurance would cover the birth center! So we visited. From the first step in we knew this was where we wanted to birth. The "exam" room is 2 rocking chairs and a day bed. The 2 birth rooms are complete with wood floors, a queen size bed and gigantic birthing tub. The classes offered there are active birthing, hypno-birthing and many more! And the midwifery care model was solid with these women. They trust women to birth and are supportive of their natural process We were sold!

Our first appointment was 2 hours with the midwife where we not only discussed physical history, but also emotional history, present situations, fears, ideas, philosophies. We feel incredibly blessed to be making a deep connection to the women involved in assisting J to labor and deliver our little Voller. A big change from the normal 6 minutes women see their doctor at an OBGYN office.

please check out our birth center! www.greenhousebirthcenter.com

Steve is still plugging along with his consulting firm. He's been keeping busy with winter compost operations out back, shoveling snow and practicing classical guitar, not to mention connecting with baby V every morning with his energy through his hands and with his voice as he says good-bye to the belly each day. We discovered the ears are fully developed and are beginning to read and play guitar to baby.

Steve has finished his first birthing book, Deepok Chopra's Holistic Guide to Childbirth and is on to his second, Birthing from Within. He is so supportive of J and even sat down to do "birth art" as suggested in Birthing from Within. We painted and drew pictures of ideal births, "a womb with a view", a j, a self portrait. We've been having so much fun!

J is going back to massage 6 hours a week and is helping her ex-sister in law with her new Biodynamic Energy business. So the finances should look a little better very soon.

Well, we'll be back soon, hopefully with photos once our computer is returned to us!

12 Weeks

The 12 Week Mark.

Not only the desired pinnacle in any pregnancy seeing as that means the most probable "danger zone" is finally coughing in your pregnancy-mobile's dust, but for THIS pregnancy it means SO much more...

An end to ALL DAY SICKNESS! HaZAA!!! This extreme sickness is the answer to the question some may have been asking: Where have they been?!

Steve's first 2 weeks home were fully devoted to tending to mommy j's every need. He cooked every meal, even though j couldn't eat half the time. He ran out to which ever store for which every item that may have sounded slightly less revolting than everything else. He cleaned the house, did the dishes, the laundry, walked the dog twice a day, and let j sleep on the couch in front of Northern Exposure episodes for 2 weeks straight! J knows. She totally hit the jack pot!

Towards Week 9, j was able to eat a little better and take the occasional walk. Week 10 was a complete turn around! J even cleaned the house and made her own meals! With Steve returning to work at his old job until the end of the year to bring in much needed moo-lah, it was a huge blessing that j turned around for the better! So now here we are, rounding the corner to Week 12 (December 26), and with a light breaking in the ever cloudy Michigan sky, we thought we'd write.

So, in Steveland, things have been crazy. Taking care of a pregnant wife and going back to a job he thought he left behind has been hard work for this dedicated trooper. Yet, he won't be a Foremost employee anymore since their policy changed from 40 hr work week to 40 plus mandatory overtime. Not ideal for a new daddy or someone like Steve who wants to get more involved in community efforts. So, December 31st will be his last day as a computer programmer for Foremost Insurance. He is now working with a contracting firm that places computer programmers in different businesses for different amounts of time throughout the area. His first job will be with... That's right! Foremost! HA HA!

But here's the bonus with contracting, he only works 4 days a week. Steve is also now the new intern for the West Michigan Environmental Action Council. His main project is teaching seminars to high school students around the area about sustainable food systems! It's a no pay gig, but it puts Steve on the right track and in with the right people.

Plus, both j and Steve are the new volunteers for the brand, butt-spanking new West Michigan Online Farmers Co-op. We will be helping with the website for people to buy farm produce as well as helping to package up the goodies and pass them out. Also an exciting meeting will be held end January as well to educate the public on how to eat local through our cold winters. All GREAT stuff! If we're here, we might as well make the best of a most interesting situation.

Oh, and the basement leak is back with Steve's return... what would our buddy Carl Jung say about that? Plus Steve has got our compost pile up and running again. Not too hard since we're having sunny 40 degree days here! Ahhh, global warming!

J has continued baking and only missed 3 or so days during the extreme sick period. The baked goods actually smelled really good! J has been trying to return to the hospital with no such luck yet. Probably for the best seeing as the 1st trimester has been so rough. Her next goal is to enroll in the medical transcription training program online so she can bring cash in from home when the little Voller is born. Plus, that training can be taken anywhere, anytime, so she feels more versatile with a career!

Lastly, we've chosen our midwife!! Her name is Shannon Pawson and we are extremely pleased to have her attend our birth and be our expert! Oh, so we suppose you've guessed... we are having a home birth. We have insurance for a possible Voller Baby Whoopsie, but are very confident in not only j's intuitive ancient knowledge passed down from the ancestors of old to birth when the time comes, but in Shannon's expertise as well. If you're worried about us, let us know. We'll send you to all the websites we've found that explain the reason we've chosen a home birth.

Please visit her website! www.yourhomebirth.com

Well, that's it for now! Check back next month when we start posting J's belly :) Santa gonna be jealous of this sucka! Christmas in July in full swing!