The Local '08 Layout

So. A year of local eating. We began to discuss how exactly to go about this.

"How am I supposed to cook without cumin?!" I asked horrified.

I am not a chef by any means, but my love of cooking has taken me into a new galaxy of spice planets I never knew existed. And yet wait… I didn't even dry herbs from our garden… oops! Would I have to do with out basil until summer? What would we do until then? Questions like this began to flood our kitchen discussion and it didn't look like the sea of "huh?" was going to part anytime soon.

"Well, you can put cumin on your exception list," says always-optimistic Steve.

"No." I huffed. "I want to do this right."

After all, I think this was my idea. And although my raiding of our cupboards to store for 1 year anything that says "MADE in CALIFORNIA" or "MADE with products from ITALY, ARGENTINA, and TUNSIA," I was very surprised, when I finally took the time to look, to see how gas guzzling my food habits really are, and how difficult this might be. (no lie. My olive oil lists all 3 of these places as the origin of olive trees. That's one expensive plane trip for those tasty black or green yummies. Wish I were an olive.)

Ohhh, I love mayo too. Where's this from? New York, huh? Kinda close. All right, what the heck IS mayo anyway? Oil, water, eggs, vinegar, lemon juice… I can make that! Who knew?

Then it became even more challenging. Chicken, beef, vegetable stock? I make our own soups weekly, and this to me is like shoe shopping for other chicks… like, totally fun, you know? But I make it easy on myself and open up my can or box of stock and WALLA! Soup for the masses. So, I consulted Betty. Making my own stock, says Betty Crocker, will require the bones, organs and other such parts of our dinner we don't like to think about. Hmmm… great. I've managed to steer clear of giblets for 30 years. Guess it's time to grow up. Now vegetable stock is much easier, but we didn't plan ahead to have all sorts of local vegetables in storage for our January beginning. What to do?

What's next on the questionable list? Hmmm… I don't about you but I don't remember passing any sugar fields in West Michigan as of late. Sugar was clearly out. Honey and Maple Syrup would suffice. BUT WAIT! I forgot about Pioneer Sugar, made in Michigan from Michigan sugar beets. HAZAA! But wait… I haven't eaten bleached, white, refined sugar in five years. I bake with the raw sugar cane, a much more natural alternative for my vivacious longing for sweetness.

(A side note: knock me off my high horse. I recently learned of the inhumane treatment of sugar cane workers. My buying habits support this. My buying habits make all the decisions in this country. Make no mistake about it. My dollar is my politics. Ug! This brings up the constant question… if you knew where your food came from, who made it, how it was made, would you want to eat it? Is it ok that the coffee farmer makes 6 bucks a day while I shell out the 3.67 for my one, just one, frothy, hot, and creamy latte? Who gets this money? CEO's, producers, middle men. The person that toiled tending the coffee trees can barely feed his family. Soap Box Moment: Buy Fair Trade people!)

Was I really going to start ingesting white sugar in the name of said sweet tooth? The World Health Organization states that 6 teaspoons of sugar reduces our immune system by 25% by affecting our white blood cells. The bigger shock? One soda has 16 TEASPOONS of sugar. Ack!

What else? What about Elle? I probably won't be making her food anytime soon with new baby in tow and a commitment to make Celia's food. "Elle Pup" was added to our List of Exceptions. Nutro Max Natural was here to stay.

And what ABOUT Celia? Rice cereal, bananas, avocados, peaches, sweet potatoes; pretty typical first foods and yet, not exactly in season… well, NEVER in season for 2 of those up here in the North, eh? It really didn't take much thought. "Celia." Second thing written on our Exception List.

Now, I won't continue to bore you with the myriad of other items that came across on our, "What the?" list. In the end, this was the conclusion:

It's January in Michigan, folks, and we did not prepare a food storage from the year previous, which obviously makes 100% local eating almost impossible at this time. So we have decided to do 3 things for our local eating goal that we CAN control starting in January, and then come the first weekend in May, we are putting our heads onto the local eating guillotine. And I say, let it roll!

FIRST: We have committed ourselves to only the support and consumption of local, pasture raised and humanly treated animals that we not only know the farmer but also know the cow or chicken that ended up on our plates o' plenty. We are officially done with meat that comes from Confined Animal Feeding Operations (CAFO's).

SIDE NOTE: A note about being asked to dinner. When someone invites us into their home, takes the time to cook for us, and puts their efforts into a meal, we will eat happily and thankfully. We're not here to evangelize. This is a personal decision. We are grateful for others generosity and we'll just leave it at that. Yet, we're not allowed to call up mom and say, "Hey, can we come to dinner and would you make pineapple banana surprise with shrimp?"

SECOND: We both get our exceptions list. Celia and Elle get what they want, as has been established. Here's our current list of free-bees: (after all, says Steve, there has been trade happening for thousands of years. Some things are so special to us; we must keep them in the El Voller-o diet. Our goal is to change what has become an entirely trade guided food system relying on cheap oil and cheap labor from other countries. And most of the trade is silly. We are apple growers to the umpth degree in the glove state. But you'll find most of your apples at the store from Washington State. ???? Our local farmers grow berries, vegetables, bake bread and on and on. But next time, even in the summer food bliss, check your berry package. Does Mexico or Chile really have superior strawberries and blueberries to Post Farms that's 10 miles away that were allowed to ripen naturally, that are grown for taste not shipping?)

ANYWHO....

Jeannie

Chocolate for Winter (everyone knows chocolate releases seratonin in the brain, which in our absence of sunlight is muy importante para mi.)

Olive Oil (I will start making my own butter as soon as we get our cow share program going on – but even then – olive oil, I have decided is my drug habit I'm not ready to give up)

Spices (I've opted to keep my spice rack spinning. BUT come summer, this may change. I think it'd be interesting to see the flavors I can come up with using herbs from my garden only)

Coffee and Tea (This is comforting to me and keeps my cold winter hands happy. The only rule: Must be fair trade. If we're out to breakfast and their coffee isn't, well, H20 and I will become good friends (since OJ is gone for a year now) When summer comes, we will begin to dry herbs for next winter's herbal teas)

Almond Milk (since Celia is allergic to cow's milk (although is fine with RAW cow milk cheese – hmmmm….) I need to drink this to help with my calcium needs as I'm building little bones for baby. Again, when we get our weekly gallon of milk from our happy Lubber's Farm cow, this may change if Celia digests raw milk)

Yeast (gots to make our bread, yo)

Vinegar (I cook and clean with this -- gotta stay)

Steve

Oatmeal (I'm looking for an oat farmer, but until then, Steve eats this DAILY at work)

Coffee and Tea

Beer (We are allowed to drink local wine – there are TONS of local wineries, but beer has been a stumbling block. YES, the companies are local (Bells, Founders, Holland Brew), but where do they get their barley, hops etc… Should we be so anal to say if they don't get it from Michigan, they're out. Maybe. For now, Steve says, no)

We also get 6 out to eat allowances a year – totally free – eat drink what you want!

We can accept say a bunch of bananas from a visitor from an area where they grow. Our friends in Florida and California, I'm looking at you.

THIRD: Although we can't really do this until spring, we have decided to figure out what would be in season during winter in Michigan. What could we have stored? What could we have canned? Frozen? Dried? And although we have to count on good ol' trusty Meijers Thrifty Acres (do they still call it that?) we are only allowed to purchase and cook food that fits in those categories. Turnips, Parsnips, Carrots, Beets, Celeriac here we come!

Wish us luck!

We're off.

Food, Glorious Food!

Well, Celia has entered the land of the eaters.

For weeks now I have felt in my gut that she was ready for solids. She was never satisfied after breastfeeding, always was reaching for my food and drinks, not to mention she began to fuss everytime I made lunch or dinner... hmmm... so today was her big day! Well, I've been giving her bites of mashed bananas for around a week -- here's that video.



and today was rice cereal day. Look at the champ go!




Soon we'll post our holiday fun! Hope you all had a blissful season.

A Year of L's

Well, it's here again --- the New Year. I, like most folks, tend to think of this time as a time to make some changes. Time to reflect upon the kind of year I want... the kind of LIFE I want: sit back and follow my daydreams, my conscious unconscious, my should've, would've, could've's of 2007. And although the goals seem to go forgotten after the sparkling orb makes its desent into Time Square, the reflection to make these New Years Resolutions? -- now, that is interesting to me. Not to mention, that this year will be different. I have deemed it thus.


I call this my Year of L's.


My first L:


LOVE:

I love.
Be sure of this.
I love deeply.
Yet, something in my make-up seems to halt the expression of this love like the claustrophobic person before they make the decision to ride the elevator. Now, I'm good with words. I EXPRESS my love freely in words. Yet, it tends to come out in the "fasten your seatbelt, oxygen falls from the ceiling, your cushion can float" kind of way: those really important things you need to hear but why put TOO much umph behind them? I want people to KNOW and more importantly FEEL my love. I want to love like Celia loves. Like Elle pup loves. So, that's #1.


LAUGH:

No one can argue. Laughing = Good.
I like to laugh!
Who doesn't?
Many times though, I get frusturated, angry or bothered when really, laughing would be so much more fun. Not to mention would lighten up our already deeply encumbered lives. (not just mine and steve's but I say "our" in the cultural sense) So that's #2.



LISTEN:
I hear you. I do.
Yes, your lips are moving.
Yes, I heard your words.
But, do I really HEAR you. You know how it is. When you're having a conversation and your eyes begin to glaze over like they would if someone said "cupcake" while you were fasting. Oddly, we nod, say "Uh huh" or "Right" in just the precise places. This year I'd like to do away with that type of listening. When someone forms their emotions from their mouth, I'd like to stop what I'm doing, look right at them, and LISTEN. Put aside whatever seems to be more important in the moment -- after all, isn't there ALWAYS something to do. But I want to see and hear my loved ones. That's #3.

The last L:


LOCAL:

Go Local. Our mantra.
Support local biz, yes?
Be more involved in community, yes?
But here in lies the real reason for why I write to you all today. We are going on a journey of food inspired by the book "Plenty" by Alisa Smith and J.B. Mackinnon. We are going to attempt to eat for 1 year within 100 miles of our home. What does this mean? We are only going to buy and consume that which was grown or made within 100 miles from Rockford, MI. There are exceptions, free-bees, and a 200 mile allowance for staples that may be just a bit further away -- but that will all be sighted in our monthly chronicle of our adventure. Be sure to check the blog monthly to get filled in on this fun, crazy and some may say obsessive hoop-la the vollers will be embarking on. The last week of December we will lay out our intentions, and then as the hats are donned and the bubbly races down our collective gullets, we will indeed begin.



Let's go.

The Photo Express

We just realized we have not posted Celia photos for some time! For Shame!

Here's a little Celia photo montage.

This was at 3 months as she was teaching herself to roll and mom went nuts with excitement!

3 months -- New winter jam jams.

This is Celia at 3 months finding her feet and doing a spectacular "Happy Baby" yoga pose.

She is sooo proud of herself that she can roll and prop herself up!! - 4 months

Her first Christmas Tree Experience! 4 months.

And as always, more to come :)

The North Pull

What a glorious weekend it was!!

We enjoyed our first road trip as a family and headed towards the North!

North Ho!

To Petoskey.

Not only do we have friends there, but we've been feeling a little tuggy tug tug at the ol' pitter patter stings to just... check it out. We call it, the North Pull.

It was Celia's first extended car ride and we are happy to say, she performed swimmingly. (With a little help from Mommy going back to hang out with her every so often and read some Dr. Suess.)

The weekend was GORGEOUS -- did I already say that?

On our way up, we needed to pull over to feed Celia. The first turn off of the two-laned 131 outside of Cadillac happened to be a camp ground. We drove in and decided to keep following the dirt road -- and look what we came too!!!

It was so quiet and serene staring at the double sky image that only water can create. We stopped for a feeding and a visit to water the woods and off we went deciding to come back next year and actually camp there.

We landed in Petoskey right at the foot of their co-op, The Grain Train, and we sauntered in to enjoy something that we so wish we had in the Grand Rapids area. After basking in organic and fair trade goodness, we walked around in and out of local shops and ended up buying Celia a new winter hat!

J bought her bookclub book, Eat Pray Love, and Steve found a Rudolf Steiner book he has had a eye out for called, What is Biodynamics? He was so so so SUPER excited, exclaiming "a little place like this has a Steiner book?!?" Yeah, we know -- a couple of farm nerds.

That evening we enjoyed dinner at Ann and John's, but negelected to get any photos since Celia was inching towards bedtime -- something we have learned NOT to mess with. And she let us know, again, that she is a very flexible lady, pleasant, and exceptionally funny, but this is NOT negotiable.

It was also Celia's first hotel stay! She seemed to really like the room. Those faux paintings and 1980's color scheme ARE fascinating! She slept like a champ in her own big bed, and Steve and I got a bed to ourselves! No baby, no dog! We almost didn't know what to do with ourselves! ' )

The next day we enjoyed our complimentary Econolodge waffles and coffee (seriously, I think I love the Econolodge! -- Side note: we stayed at the Grand Traverse Resort back in May and didn't get HALF of what we got with our $50 Econo room) and we were off to meet Jen and Matt for a tour of Petoskey farm land. What a beautiful sight it was! We drove for 3 hours enjoying fall colors, "seasonal" dirt side roads winding through the hills and the multitude of possibilities. We even took Celia out of her carseat to scope the array of beauty.








It's quite interesting, Petoskey. I have always said that I wish I could live on 10 acres so that I can have my homestead, but that the 10 acres would be RIGHT at the edge of town so I could still bike into town, support local business, walk to the bookstore, be a part of the community. That doesn't exsist anymore, right? On the edge of every town is suburb after suburb after suburb. If you're in the country anymore, you are OUT there, and really, who knows when your back yard view of red maples will become the next cracker jack subdivision?

Well, I can not tell you how exciting it was to roll out of Petoskey proper and BAM! Farms! Farmhouses! Land! Hills! Trees a' plenty! Here I was, in a dream local! We could have the homestead, participate in community and be within a proper distance to market one of my ideas: to be the local fall/winter harvest CSA. (stands for Community Supported Agriculture -- in a nutshell, in the spring you pay a farmer an upfront cost, and all spring, summer, early fall you get a cut of the harvest each week of what is in season. ) And as a bonus, super plinko-esque, no whammy's plus?? Lake Michigan at your fingertips no less!

Now, don't get any crazy ideas -- we are staying where we are. But I'm always interested in possiblities. And Petoskey holds many!

Reflections in the Fall

Is there any place better than Michigan in the fall, I ask you? Really, is there?

I hear resounding no's.

The mornings are crisp as your feet crunch the fallen leaves and the frosty crystals clinging to the grasses. The skys are SO blue in the fall! Real Blue. Not the sort of white sky you can some times have here in Michigan because of the summer humidity and the dark clouds of the winter chill. BLUE! This sky against the splashes of colorful tree leaf goodness it's truly gorgeous! It's time for fleece zip-ups to come out, for knitted hats to be donned, for red cheeks to enjoy the bliss of a hot cup of coco after a misty breathed visit to the outdoors. Ahhhh, FALL!! My favorite season!



I'm so glad we gave birth to a little lady who thinks fall is just as fun. We go for a walk every morning still. This morning it was 39 degrees! Celia was still in her jam jams. I zipped her in her snowsuit, slung her in the Moby Wrap and covered her with her favorite blanket from Camille. We were off with Elle running ahead, black tail whipping the leaves as they scurried out from her path. Celia just stares at everything! She can't get over all the stuff to see! Until she just falls asleep. A nice start to a morning, I would say.

Here is fall at our home here in Rockford. Yes, we're still needing to sell the ol' house. Yes, we're still trying to move closer to Steve's place of employement. Yes, we're still always looking for land in the back of our eyes (yep, it's possible... trust me :) ). But it is LOVELY right now. I feel very lucky to be here.






Although it is a year ago this weekend that I visited Steve down in North Carolina and we found out that Celia was 4 weeks old in my belly. In 2 more weeks it will be a year from the time we made the decision that Steve would come home. Leave a dream job. Leave a 60 degree November sunshine state. Leave his brother from another mother Jeff. And he did this to be with me during the pregnancy so he wouldn't miss it. He did this to ease our financial situation we had since I quit my jobs to move and then couldn't get rehired from being pregnant. And we couldn't sell our house.

We still look back and sometimes wonder if we did the right thing. But here we are. And these pictures some how just make me smile dispite all the hardships of the past year. All I need is Steve, my little Celia, and our Elle Girl. That is MY location, location, location.

A Day in the Life

A day in the life of a 14 week old? Well, we've archived Celia's days into 4 short videos.

You've seen the first adventure of the day in our last blog entry -- we wake and we chat. Does she ever! Must be all the Dr. Suess.

Then we're doing yoga to Michael Franti. Smiling the whole time!

Celia loves to dance. We're boogying to Citizen Cope. She loves BIG movements and J, although, silly looking, provides.

We do some tummy stuff to enable her to crawl and well, eventually walk and get into everything.

Suckers!

And she's learning to sing. First song, The Beatles. This in the only way she'll get into her carseat with out crying.

ahhh... the fun never ends!

Conversing

The Most Beautiful Monday

I heard it on NPR that morning. 85 degrees on an October Monday. 72 degrees on an October Tuesday. 52 degrees on an October Wednesday. Fall was sending us one last breath of heat before she enveloped herself into the beginning stages of hibernation.

You see, I have a 12 week old. The decision. Do I pack up, make the most of this seemingly last expression of warmth, even though traveling around with Celia is still a bit of an adventure in and of itself, or do I just stay close to home to keep Celia's naps on schedule, to get groceries, to stay cool indoors... ? The decision. I guess you have to take what is given, be grateful and live it to its fullest. So, Out we went!

Grandma Char accompanied us to Lake Michigan for one last hurrah!! And it was worth every second! The sun was high in a brillant blue sky, the winds warm causing small white caps to crash on the sand squishing between our toes. The water was perfection in liquid form! Warm and clear. I stayed in and just played like a kid on a summer's day while Celia slept with Grandma on the shore.

I laid on my back and stared up at the sun, a white hot dot on a cloudless canvas. Waves would crash over me and fill my nose with water then swirl me around in its watery arms. Just a little rub and a sneeze and I was on my back again. I bobbed and swayed letting the winds and the waters take me for one last ride.

I'm so grateful for yesterday. For time with my mom. For Celia to fall asleep to waves. For a moment to myself to revel in my blessings and yet reclaim a second of Jeannie the woman along with Jeannie the new mom.

We stayed for only a few hours and were back on the road to Rockford. But lucky me, I have a husband that supports me at home with our girl. The biggest blessing of them all, I would think.

The new adventures with Celia keep rolling in. She is cooing so much it's almost as if she's having whole converstations with us. It's so funny, we just roll!

She went to the local Harvest Festival and enjoy looking about. She doesn't sleep on our daily walks anymore. She has to look around, and can you blame her? Michigan is in fall color bliss!

All in all, the Vollers are doing well. We still continue to scope out land for homesteading. We still dream big. We still look around for ways to better our community and environment, and well, ourselves. But we've discovered that raising a daughter is an excellently fufilling dream in and of itself.

The Wonder of it All

So who does Celia look like at 9 wks?

We think it's rather obvious :)

Mom?



Or Dad?

Celia's Firsts

Ok.

We may be getting a hang on this parenting thing yet!

We are happy to report that in Celia's 6 weeks we have conquered a horrid diaper rash, a painful, oh so rough, eczema break out on Celia's face, seemingly excruciating gas troubles that has given us a new happy baby, and a car seat boycott. We have learned how to eat with one hand, that sleep deprevation causes a weird J, and that Celia is the boss. :) Here she is posing for a photo session in her new finery Tina and Joe sent her.

As you can see we have a Celia first! SMILES!! Every morning we look at her and say, "Good Morning Celia" softly in her ear and what do we get? The best and biggest toothless smile you've ever seen!! Yet, who got Celia to smile for the first time. Steve? Nope! J? Nope! It was none other than Grandma Char. Go Mom! But now, mom and dad are clearly the favorites.

We've found Celia is exquiste in purple. J told her this and she loved the word, "exquisite."

Celia loves our faces. She touches j's nose and mouth all the time and Steve's beard and cheeks. She thinks this is the most fun task of her day: Studying mom and dad.

Another Celia first! THE BEACH! On Labor Day we decided it was time to test out the cherry bathing suit Grandma Char bought Celia. Of course the beautiful Lake Michigan was much too cold for a 6 1/2 week old, but we got some great pics!

More to come! Celia finds that being held is most favorable and so we best tend to our little lady.

Almost 1 month down

Celia at 1 month ~ Our Favorite Things

We love how as you fall asleep, your face goes from a huge smile, to a grimace, to a frown, to one eyebrow raised up, to one half of a smile, to a pucker of your lips... so cute! We call this her mob boss face.




We love how you've already begun following us with your eyes.


We love how in the middle of the night if you are fussing, one of us just puts a hand by you and you reach out for it and calm right down.

We love how you fold your hands while you are nursing.

We love how you are in awe of the Tibetan Compassion book's pictures and even try to turn the pages yourself.

We love how much you love daddy. Some babies are all about mommy, but Daddy just straps you into the Bjorn and goes for a walk with his morning coffee, sending you into dreamland.

We love that if you are really unhappy that dancing to Jack Johnson is your favorite thing. We tried Paul Simon one day, but it just wasn't the same.

Don't get us wrong. This can be a very difficult time as well. J can only say how grateful she is to have had Steve at home for 2 1/2 weeks and then working from home for another 3 days. J can see how doing all of this on your own could be overwhelming and depressing as you try to find out what works best for your baby (books are great, but Celia is Celia -- not a book, we've come to find). It is such a relief to work out problems together. To ask each other what they think we should try next. To be up at night together sharing in the care of such a small and exquisite being. So blessed to have such a partner. J thanks her lucky stars daily.

That's as much of an update as we can muster right now. The other night J developed a fever and body aches that knocked her out. Come to find out, she has mastitis. Oh, the adventure never ends. We're in our 3rd day of fever and aches and Steve is, again, mostly in charge of all care of Celia, Elle, and the home, which continues after helping J heal from the C-section.

We'd also like to send out our eternal gratitude for the emails, calls, blessing, cards, meals, gifts, visits, and good ol' folk-hearted offers during this...ahem!...glorious "adjustment" period. :)

Oh yeah...here is a picture of Celia while nursing. This was SO hilarious! No kidding, her hand was just like this! We absolutely did NOT place it in this way. J cracked up so hard she thought her incision was going to pop out. We call this Celia's first try at profanity.

And So The Story Goes...

The Long Story of the Coming of a little Girl Called Celia:

Ahhhh...... birth! Not just in the physical sense, but in the spiritual sense as well. Our vision of this birth: all natural, painful but purposeful, connecting with the women of the past who have endured the same, without drugs squatting by the river side... this was our birth plan. But as someone once said, "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Overdue J got acupunture on Monday. Tao He, the man, told J that she would most likely start having contractions that night or the next. 5000 years of medicine obviously doesn't lie! All Monday night, J was waking up to very mild contractions. Each one that woke her made her more and more excited. Throughout the next day, the contractions were present, although, only a handful. As j said, "a piece of cake!"

Tuesday night, we went to bed around 10:30pm and the contractions started to become quite regular. They were 5 minutes apart and no longer a piece of cake. So we called MaryAnne, our nurse-midwife, and stayed in touch hour after hour. She knew we wanted to labor at home for the most of the labor and was in full support of that. All night J had 5 minute apart contractions... the real deal. Steve was by her side the entire time, rubbing her back, helping her breathe through and just being ultimately supportive.

By 5:30am we were timing 3 minute apart contractions and J was getting nauseous and shaky. We called MaryAnne and she said, "Sounds like she's dilated to a 7, you should bring her in." So off we went!

Upon on arrival, we got all situated and then got checked for dilation. A disappointing and shocking NOTHING! MaryAnne said things were soft and manually dilated her to 3. The laboring continued. Hard labor. (We were told eventually that J was in back labor for 20 hours, meaning baby Celia was sunny side up, her skull hitting J's tailbone each contraction.) Each dilation check, we had nothing. MaryAnne continued to manually dialte J. Eventually by 5:oopm, 12 hours after we arrived at the hospital, 19 hours after hard labor had begun, J had been manually dialted to only 6.

At this time J and Steve had been awake for 36 hours, Tues 5:30am to Wed 5:00pm. And Steve never left J's side. He never slept, he never ate, he stayed immensly connected, trying to give J every ounce of support and pain relief for the all natural labor that was their desire. As J has said, there is no way she would have gotten through this without Steve.

But yet, J still wasn't dilating on her own. The breaking point had been crossed for J. In tears, she stated she couldn't take it anymore. If she were advancing and we saw an end, perhaps. But after 19 hours of 5 to 3 minute apart contractions, and 24 hours of labor in general, and no dilation, she was beyond.

After much reluctance while deeply held values lye prostrate for re-examination, we all decided that an epidural was needed. J's exhaustion mixed with her tension was likely affecting the progress of birth. We just wanted Celia out safely. The epidural gave J a much needed reprieve and we waited for an hour. Checked J. No dilation. Not even manually able to move to a 7. Disappointed, MaryAnne made the decision to induce J.

A Pitocin drip was started. We watched the contractions crash on the moniters measuring J's contractions and Celia's vitals. They were enormous. Under the epidural they weren't felt by J, but poor baby Celia was still working hard. An hour later, checked for dilation. Nothing. And the cervix had closed up some. Something was clearly not right.

J looked at MaryAnne and said, "I'm ready to talk about a C-section." MaryAnne then stated that she thought that was what was going to need to happen and had already made all the calls. She was awesome. She had labored with J with Steve and had given J every position imaginable to encourage and keep the labor working. She even attempted to turn baby Celia but was unable to due to Celia being stuck elsewhere, unbeknownst to us, and not down in the birth-canal. She had done everything she could and finally stated that this was absolutely necessary, and we absolutely trusted her. And then Celia went into distress. Our hearts were gutted. We were able to bring her back by repositioning J and thankfully, Celia gave us the extra hour we needed to prep J for surgery. It was now around 8pm.

Shaking, delirious, and vomiting from exhaustion and drugs, J was wheeled off. Steve was still there, absolutely present, loving and supportive. He was absolutely amazing. And then, after 29 hours of labor, Celia arrived. It was 8:48pm.

So what was wrong? Dr. Leazenby, amazing man that became my surgeon and doctor, explained that Celia was wedged in the pelvic bone. J's size would not accomodate her head. She seemingly continued to bounce against the opening and then end up off track. They called it "transverse", a 3 to 9 o'clock position. Turned the wrong way and face up made entry into the canal even more difficult. Celia came out with 2 large welts on her head and a bruised arm from her trying to get out. It broke our hearts. Thankfully, Celia, spoke to our hearts to put our ego and birth plan aside to do what was best for her safety. Our Celia was under an immense amount of stress, says our doctor. He also told J, that by the looks of it, C-sections were a must for any future babies unless 5 pounds or under.

A second scary part for Celia. Her cord was in a knot. The nurse called Celia a miracle baby. Most babies with a knot in the cord are still-born she said. Especially if they are delivered vaginally because the cord pulls tight as baby leaves the canal and oxygen is cut off. We could not believe it.

Yet, here we were, hour after hour, all of J's greatest birthing fears being realized--epidural, induction, strapped to a bed, stuck with an IV, C-section... and it all may have saved baby Celia's life. What a deep honor we were given to confront and embrace, yet, another lesson in letting go and trusting the process, of being in your eternal moment, resisting nothing and accepting everything, casting aside all previous notions, judgements, and expectations to realize what truly matters in the moment of birth - Life.

Unfortunatly the story doesn't stop there. Celia was born with a fever. Thankfully, her fever passed within the first hour of life. J was not so lucky. J's fever and blood pressure were getting worse by the minute; J was diagnosed with eclampsia and toxemia and so the IV drips were started. They got to their room at 11pm and J was put on an antibiotic drip and a magnesium sulfate drip. The drips made her nauseous and extremely overheated from vessel relaxation to keep the vessels very dialated so that j wouldn't stroke or seizure from the high blood pressure. This went on for nearly 36 hours.

All night and day people were in and out of the room every 1/2 hour to check J's vitals, take her blood, and switch bags of this and that. J's labs were not coming back steadily improved. Her uric acid, platlets, and hemoglobin were not right to top the list. We were up all night. By the end of it all had both been up for 72 hours, with 2 short naps...

But to the recovery!!! By Friday morning her labs had turned around so well that she was taken off all medication and drips (except pain meds of course -- major surgery is OW!) Her calcium had gone goofy and her hemoglobin remained off as well. But J flipped around in the blink of an eye. With the magnesium off, she could eat again, see (the med relaxed the muscles of her eye so that everything flickered like an old foggy movie), and walk. She did so well Friday, they let us go Saturday afternoon. And finally the new voller family was home!

What a process. What a hero's journey, yet again. The walking into the woods of wonder, being enveloped in darkness to confront some scary monster, only to arrive a more whole person having traversed the unknown and the difficult. Both Steve and Jeannie are different people after the experience. And for the better. So we didn't get the birth we wanted. But truly, the birth WAS perfect. It happened and unfolded as it should. We know this. As another wise man once said, "all is perfect just as it is."

We find it terribly ironic that if J had her tribal, raw birth that she had wanted, and we weren't in modern times, that we probably would have lost both her and Celia. Don't know what to make of that yet, and does it even matter? We just know we can't thank the people enough who made Celia's birth possible. Especially MaryAnne, our constant advocate and support who knew at each obstacle when it was time to go through it or take a different direction. Between her and Dr. Leazenby, Dr. Shin, Dr. Gibson and the compassionate Spectrum nurses, we have our baby girl. Here is MaryAnne and Celia. You can see how puffed up Celia was from the trama in the canal - our trooper of a daughter!

Anyway, that is our story. Being home is blissful. We had a rough first few days waiting for J's milk to come in, but now have such a happy baby!!! She is a breastfeeding queen! Ahhh! The one thing that went as "planned." :)

And now we enter into our next Hero's Journey: Parents to Celia. More on that to come.

Thank you all for your support through this whole pregnancy. We are blessed because of it. All you need really IS love.

Population + 1

Celia Scarlet Voller

She's Finally Here!!

Here's a few photos of our new baby girl.

Born July 18, 2007

8:48pm

7 lbs 15 oz - 20 inches

Our best photo yet - Celia making the connection of daddy's soothing voice from the womb, with the face.

Celia loves to sleep right on Mommy's heart.

We will post our birth story and the first few days report soon. :)

2 OverDue Appointments - One to Go

Hello everyone~

We're posting an update because the other night we returned from our "overdue" appt., dinner and shopping for needed new clothes for Steve to 12 phone calls!!!!

We are overwhelmed by everyone's concern and excitement, but decided not to call anyone back and just catch you all in one place... cyberland. We know it's impersonal, but I'm sure ya'll understand.

First, no. No baby has arrived. She's still snuggled up, feet under j's right ribs, hands punching at the cervix. Perhaps she's impatient too. :)

Second, we had a good 1st overdue appt. Celia passed her stress test, so, so far, j won't be forced into induction just yet. She wasn't passing in the beginning... let me tell you, Celia is a hard sleeper! It's so funny. We couldn't wake her up! Her heart beat was strong, she just didn't feel like moving around. So, j drank a bunch of cold water, and she perked right up. Passed within 5 minutes after sleeping through the first 20.

Third, j had no dialation, still. But is 80% effaced. We hear that's good! So, we were advised by our midwife to really enjoy the weekend. Take time, be together, do special things since this will be our last weekend together without a baby attached to us, literally, 24-7. All in all, she told j to enjoy and get her rest.

We have tried many tactics. We've been through a full moon. There is a new moon tomorrow -- that affects some women. We've had a good storm. J has continued excercising, had spicy food, had a pedicure and few other things. THEN...

Had our 2nd overdue appt. Monday. Good signs!

J was having pains all day, not contractions, but anything is a plus. J lost weight, which is a sure sign say all her recent laboring friends. She was still 80% - 90% effaced and a forced 1 cm dialated. Those are all good things!

The best part was the discussion of induction. Having a midwife rocks! As most of you know, j is terrified of being strapped to anything. Not having the ability to move or try different positions sounds like absolute hell to her. So, when you're induced with pitocin, you have to have an IV, have to be monitered, and basically are hooked to a bed.

Our awesome midwife does not induce that way. She uses 3 different methods of induction, that we're sure you don't want the details of, first, and pitocin is her last result. The other methods allows j to have a portable moniter, no IV, and to walk wherever she wants. She was so relieved! Steve said he hadn't heard her voice sound so happy in weeks! The only thing taken away from her is the tub, but that's fine! The other great thing with being induced with a cervi-gel is that it doesn't overwhelm your body so that your natural endorphins can't keep up, like pitocin. Again, what a relief!!!

J also got acupunture yesterday, which was great. Celia is a pretty heavy sleeper and this woke her up right away! She was moving all over!!!

We're happy to report a full night of seemingly mild contractions. We don't know quite what they are yet because they are so sporadic and seem to be a piece of cake so far. So we don't know what exactly is happening, if anything. Either way, we feel really good that by the end of the week this will all be over. J's getting higher blood pressure and has had small blood vessel breakage on her legs. Her body is just tired. So J's just sipping Blue Cohosh tea and rubbing Jasmine on her belly hoping those will help.

We'll keep you informed :) If today isn't our magic day, we have our last appt. Thurs. Then Celia will be evicted. :)

Although we did have a nice weekend. We went to the movies and saw Oceans 13. Super Fun. We grilled out. We went for a few hour stroll through Rockford and ate hot dogs and ice cream. Also met two new moms with such POSITIVE birth experiences (one a mom of 4 -- did all natural labor with all 4 and even was induced twice!!). So nice to not hear "war stories" anymore. We started watching one of our favorite movies, Sideways. J finished another book. So, all in all, j is doing ok with this LOooooooooooooooooooooooong pregnancy. And Steve is, as always, great. And just excited. :)

A Sad Day for J

Well, the due date has come and gone.

Even though 10% of women actually have the baby ON their due date, J had such high hopes for Celia's appearance before or on this day.

She spent the morning sad, decided to cry, and then decided it was time to kick Celia out.

J's list of activities yesterday:

Vacuum out Car
Weed Garden
Harvest from Garden
Vacuum house
Water Aerobics
the hottest dish on the local Indian restaurant menu

And well, it just goes to show that Celia and nature have more to say in this than j does.
We're still pregnant and Celia still seems very happy right where she is.

No News Is Good News?

No News. Unfortunately!

We're just plugging along over here playing that game called the waiting game. Although we're not due for 5 more days, J has seemingly been ready for 6 weeks :) 35 extra pounds is alot to carry on J's small frame. Although baby, extra blood volume, lots of extra water and baby's home make up for most of that, it's still heavy! The rest is ice cream, muffins and burgers. :)

Not working, J has been trying to keep herself occupied. Here is J and Elle after a morning walk. Both of them overheated and decided the cold wood floor was the place to shack.

Steve thought this was a cute picture of his tired 3 ladies. J, Elle and baby Celia.


Yet, we've been trying to do a few fun things together before baby comes. We went to the movies last Thursday and saw "SICKO." We were "in the know," if you will, about much of this topic, but it was so well done, and still as shocking as ever to see our American HealthCare System is such a disarray of profit and plunder. Even if you do not like Michael Moore, this is a must see movie. This isn't a partisan issue. Health is everyone's issue.

We also are grilling out alot. This 4th of July, J decided to try a new recipe for Fiery Flank Steak with Tomato Salsa. With Steve's grilling expertise (no, he still hasn't surpassed Jeff Barney, in his words :) ), and J's marinade and salsa it was YUMMY YUMMY!

J also has alot of time on her hands without Steve. And the next picture is from when Steve got home from work early one day having fought a debilitating headache all day. J got caught!


We think she's nesting since she came up with the brilliant idea to repaint the bedroom. Oh, that's Jeannie for you!

She was given the ok by midwife MaryAnne to paint with lots of ventilation and a mask. So, J decided to lighten up their Chianti bedroom! Turns out this yellow was not what they were looking for, and they are painting the square back to red just in case Celia's time is near.

Some day the room will be a toasty Camel Color. J will see to that! Oh! And what was her excuse? She said that when we sell the house that a gold/yellow color would make the tiny room bigger and more inviting. It was hard for Steve to argue with that and frankly, J is frustrating and funny at the same time.

Well, that's all. Next week if baby hasn't arrived we will be going in for the 40+ week ultrasound to make sure Celia's home is still fit to sustain her life for another week or two. And then we will be asked to choose an induction date, should it come to that. 42 weeks makes a woman high risk these days, and Steve and I do not want to be transferred to a high risk doctor. We are committed to our birth expert MaryAnne being there, so at 41 weeks and 6 days, we would have to induce, or lose MaryAnne. So we're looking at our latest possible date, all the while, sending our intentions to the powers at be for her to arrive naturally before all this.

Say a few prayers it won't come to that!
Much love~~

Anyone Call for a Barn

Just thought we'd take a moment to post the most recent photos. Here is J and Elle in the kitchen. J is 4 weeks away here. She calls herself a barn. No one seems to argue with her. :)

Another great bit of news for the family - Jeannie's bro Michael got remarried this weekend to Sheri Garbarect! Yea!! They couldn't be happier and they are such a great match! They had a beautiful day for nuptials as we all gathered on a stone platform under the trees of Grand Haven and witnessed the marriage of these two fine people.

Here's a photo op of J and all her brothers: J is now 3 weeks from her due date. Woah!!! J's Mom said she doesn't know how she can stand up with out falling forward. :)

More good news on the front. J's best childhood friend Erin had her 2nd baby! Healthy all!

Here is Sevi J. Cullum:

And more baby news!! J's long time kindred spirit and cousin Sunny had her baby boy! Hyrum Joseph Tangren:

So, all is well. It's still hot. J's still big. Steve is still working hard. And Celia is still a bug in a rug.

Baby Celia Update

We thought you may all be interested in our new baby update after our 36 week appointment yesterday where you plan to the best of your ability your labor and then get checked to see how close you are to going into labor.

It looks like she is not planning on going anywhere or doing anything but staying cozy for awhile in here. She's just like her dad! It's good j's impatience gene seems to have not become a dominant trait :)

Anyway, j is not dilated at all, cervix isn't doing anything (maybe a little softening), and it's not even in the right position for the baby to drop, and nope, she hasn't dropped.

So, we're settling in for the 4 weeks we have left until they start talking to us about induction around week 41. :( AHH!! We don't want that if we can help it! Pray the little lady comes out before that happens :)

We all thought I may go early, but we're looking pertty stuck for a bit. J thought she'd be disappointed, but what's the point, right? J's just going to settle in for a month of swollen, hot mamma time. We think j will pitch a tent at lake michigan. Come visit her : )

Winter and Construction

J - Rounding to the 8 month mark!

We have a joke here in Michigan... If you've ever lived here, you may remember. We only have 2 seasons here in the Grand Rapids Area. Winter and Construction. This year has proven to be no different, to be sure. Yet, it seems this joke is being taken to another side of the coin. We don't quite know where Spring went. We had a week, perhaps two?, of that glorious spring weather. Jeans and a t-shirts were all the clothing required. The air was cool at nights and 60 and dry in the days. The sky was blue. The lilacs tantilized us with their fragrant blooms for weeks. Not this year. I saw lilacs on our own bushes. And then they died. Fast. In the heat. Like the rest of us. It's May in Michigan and we've had 85-90 degree days as a rule lately! Remember that late July/August humidity. Oh yeah! Sticky, slick, and stanky. It's here with a force!

That being said, our pregnant j has recanted her statment of wanting to be pregnant in the summer instead of the winter. In the winter she struggled bending to put boots on. She tried to smoosh herself into her winter coat after layering pants, long johns, t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, and then sweater. She felt like an elephant in the wrong climate zone. Little did she know that with heat came swelling ankles and fingers. Walking created sweating which created work for the body to cool itself off, which created exhaustion from having 50% more blood volume to pump around, which created a constant and nagging passing out feeling.

But darn it! J got the garden in anyway!! Here she is with a bucket of compost.

Once we got to the tomato and pepper transplants, J was practically strapped to a camping chair by hubby Steve and he took over. In his words, "You sit there and order me around." Hmmm...

Life is good here at the Voller Estate. We are looking at our final month of pregnancy and man does it look good! We can not wait! Not only to meet this little gem that has been pushing back at your hand when you touch the belly, that stretches in the belly while mommy is stretching, but also the little one is beginning to create such discomfort with normal efforts like getting out of a chair, doing dishes or just laying down. She loves a rib on mommy's right side. Ouch!

J thought she could work up to the day Celia decides to come home, but that is becoming an impossibilty considering her work. She works one day at a farm and even weeding is a chore in this heat! She is also still massaging a few clients a week, and although she's been lucky to have hardly any back pain this pregnancy, it's all starting now as she expands even more. We didn't think it was possible!

Steve is doing well. He is spending much free time learning and searching sound healing while cleaning the basement, doing the lawn, the garden, and the house. He's a busy man. We are going to his mom's this weekend to get her tractor. Steve no longer has 3 hours to roam our lawn with our little push mower. He hates the idea of a tractor, but J convinced him it was a good idea since when she is an at home mom, she plans on taking over the mowing. Having had 3 older brothers and never being taught to mow, a tractor makes more sense for a recovering mother. Baby Celia will be in a sling and Mamma J will be mower extrodainaire!

There is a wonderful sound healing center in San Francisco we hope to visit within the next year along with a trip in October out east to see all our friends and introduce them to Celia. Steve is also planning a Rush concert get-a-way in September with his buddy Pierce in Toronto! He needs a break! Also, it looks like Crowded House is touring again, which he's excited for! He'll be going to Ann Arbor in August for their concert.

His next projects will be re-sealing the basement for humidity (again, it's Michigan, people!) and then busting up the crumbling concrete stairs and walkway to our back door and then redoing them. We are tentatively planning to get the house back on the market by September. Plus those stairs are not safe for not only a waddling jeannie, but also our mom's, and Celia when she decides walking sounds like fun.

That's the update. Here's our family: We'll let you all know if J explodes before the birth gets here:)